When I first came to Oklahoma City University in the fall of 2007 to pursue a Master’s degree in Liberal Arts, it was a rushed affair — I had applied in early July, quickly visited the campus, and rushed in the four and a half weeks before the semester began to get paperwork, student loans, and housing lined up before the semester began. After a sort of false start in bad housing, I finally settled as classes began. Coming from a closely-knit Christian university where I got my Bachelor’s, OCU was a new cultural experience for me. I came to this school not knowing a single person, but thinking surely I would meet some fellow grad students and that would be that.
I soon found I was wrong — that most of my courses were combined with undergrad, and the few grad students I met lived off campus and had little involvement in campus. While many of my friends are undergrads, I never seemed to be able to connect with the ones in my classes. I tried Kappa Phi, an inclusive sorority of fellow Christian girls, but my evening class meant I couldn’t go that often. And then one Monday afternoon I met Molly on my way back from the cafeteria. I’d met Molly at Kappa Phi, and she asked if I was coming to Evensong that evening. I’d heard of Evensong, even considered going, but wasn’t really sure. So she told me to come.
That evening I walked down to the room where Evensong is held, and was surprised to see so many students already gathered. Molly saw me peeking in and led me to a seat on the front row. We only had time for me to meet another friend, Lance, before worship started. I didn’t know half of the songs, and I didn’t care because there was unity in worship, a one-ness of spirit. When worship ended, we were told to pass the peace and greet each other.
In my home church, when we greet each other it consists of shaking hands with the person on your right, on your left, in front of you, and behind you, and possibly another one or two people in the immediate area before sitting back down. At Evensong, I realized they were huggers, which was cool, because I like hugs, too. So Molly hugged me. And I turned to shake Lance’s hand, only to be caught up in a huge hug — I think my feet cleared the ground. And I found not only a new friend but a place to belong, fully embraced.
The fall semester was full of changes for me — friendships from my past that I had to release, family moving away, and many other transitions, some good and some not. It took me most of the semester to find a church home in Oklahoma City. Despite all of these things, I was okay because I had my own steady fellowship, my own group of people who would talk to me, joke with me, and give me those hugs when I needed it. Our family has changed as some graduate, and I’m sure we’ll soon have new members when the spring semester starts. If friends are the family you pick for yourself, then Evensong is the family God blessed me with — one I hadn’t even asked for.
Rae Cooper is a graduate student at Oklahoma City University. She worships at Evensong, a worship service offered by the Wesley Foundation at OCU.
